time changed

It's a quiet Saturday past midnight, a peace of mind and some flashback of life...

Sometimes I wonder, if life could be simple, why are we working so hard to get something we want?

If happiness is enjoying the moment, why do I feel like I'm skipping all the joy that is happening every moment?

Is life so complicated? or it is me that complicates it?

Sometimes I feel like the new age 'apple' life seems so seamless but yet it is so cold inside. A 'like' or a click could send some sort of attention but it is heartless....

I guess this convenience connectivity actually made me disconnected, in humanity.

How can I be a happier person if I could never crack this wall of my doubts?

To the outside world, I remain very silent and distant.

Do you know that this is not me... ?

Xmas & New Year soon!

It's almost year end already...

I'm now enjoying the 2 weeks year-end shut down (compulsory leave) after a year long of sweat & blood.

Bad times are coming, just a week before this, my company retrenched about 10 people. It's brutal, they could have done it in a better way.

Anyway, I'm still SAFE for now. With lesser manpower and lesser budget, but more expectations and more demands, it feels like combating in a war with no guns but hoping to win the battle. Haizzz, tough life.

People around me are getting married, almost every other week I can see wedding photos/ROMs in my facebook homepage. Marriage is a joy, isn't it? It's a blessing that you have finally found someone to share and live your life together for the rest of your lives. When is my turn? Argh... don't bother, just cherish every happy moments together, and whatever that's on the paper, it doesn't really matter.

As mid-life crisis starts kicking in, at this stage of life, you either think of stepping into management level, or thinking of retirement after becoming a 'tai-tai' or 'mum-to-be', or otherwise struggling with what-to-do-next?  To quit or not to quit? I guess, everyone has their own constraints, in a dilemma of a turning point, or a dead-end.

I guess we often forget, life should be a celebration, whatever choices that has been made, must lead you to somewhere you are today, that shaped your tomorrow.

Suddenly I became very philosophical. I wish I know how to practice what I preached.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to an exciting 2012 dragon year ahead, though it doesn't really blend well with the Rat, but I hope that I can embrace all the challenges and hiccups and stop cursing!

Cheers to all my friends!  I still love you though I never call.

p/s: Do call me for tea! I have not changed my number.

In the Fall already?

August is slipping away soon, nothing much has changed though. Same old job Same old life.

It makes me wondering, where exactly am I heading to?  Age is catching up, definitely a downhill road... what else can I look forward to?


There are a list of holiday destinations on the world map that I longed for. But that is quite contradictory to the saving plan for a decent four-wall with a roof. Argh, so hard to decide.

Settling down in a comfort zone, there are a lot of reasons not to do anything else, simply easy to become a computer/Iphone geek.  These technologies makes me lazy & sometimes stupid - for wasting time doing nothing.


Socials no longer interest me... I have nothing much to share with strangers/acquaintance. Starting a small talk that is completely pointless - and pretending that I'm interested to know more, that actually doesn't help to ease stress or anything at all. I don't know how some people love it, or is it the fact that they really need attention?

There are several traveling blueprints coming up this next half of the year -  Seoul, HK, Shanghai, Mumbai, All work and no play. Stress is way more than stimulation.


At times I just feel like I don't want to do anything else, I just need you by my side.

I think, that's good enough for my world, my present and my future. =)

First quarter of 2011

Just a blink of eye, April will be ending pretty soon... and there goes my first quarter of year 2011.

I haven't been actively blogging... writing about my thoughts or scribble some comments...

The whole first quarter, I was swamped with workloads  for one of the biggest event in my company. It's finally over. I had too much nightmares of it... It was exorbitant. The thought of it makes me wanna puke, I just don't wanna think about it at all.

I just came back from Shenzhen for another conference, and 2 more days of leisure by my own. I felt abit disturbed, when I told people about extending 2 more days alone, and they were like: "Ha??? ALONE AR??? YOU NOT SCARED MEH?"

If you stayed out of those quiet alleys and nightclubs... anywhere it's just the same. It's just another city. What should you be scared of? Just step out of your comfort zone, you will see more things out of the "tupperware".

I just needed 2 day of rest. A really good rest. I'm mentally and physically drained.

Like always, I wanted to quit....

But then, Someone said to me: If you can't change the environment, change yourself.

I have always wanted to leave, I know I am trying to escape from the reality and fact that I'm dealing with the same shit and the same people in a rotating chart. I knew that the grass is never greener on the other side, perhaps I should grow up and stop acting like a fresh graduate.


Whatever my future holds, it depends on how I shape it now. How I focus in my career and How I manage my own problems. Someone also told me, 5 years later when you think about what you said today, you could just laugh at yourself to see how childish you were.

I believe I'm very temperamental. Venting anger easily and I can't see over the mountain. I need to calm down and see what I can do, what is my strength and why I should be here.

Everyday for me is like a life-course. I don't feel quite connected to my friends anymore, most of them are getting married, It's more like a norm than a joy. I don't quite feel the excitement. Or am I just being cold blooded?

Of course I have my own wedding plans. Well, more like a saving plan. Without money, everything is just an illusion.

If I could be persistent about the challenges I face, I trust that I could be a better manager, in all aspects of life.


I know I can do it....

It's just a matter of time.

2011

All I want for this year is a good health and everyone that I love is safe and sound.

What could be more important than your own life, that's what I'm trying to tell myself everyday.

Some dreams are meant to come true someday, let's just wait...

Some goals will be achieved somehow, let's just try our best...

Some pressure will makes you insane,  what a shame I never learn to be sane...

Anyway, I'm trying to kick off my new year with some optimistic thoughts, this won't be an easy year for sure... Nevertheless, I must prove to myself, I am tough enough to take it, even though deep down, I know I'm not.

ROMs seems like an everyday thing in Facebook. For me, I just hope that love and romance should make way to the next level when it's time!  Even without a ring, happiness can be as simple as getting a cup of morning coffee.

Sometimes, I wish that the world is coming to an end one day, at least I really know what I want to do is just to spend the rest of my living days together with my loved ones. Now that life is forever, things are always taken for granted. I wish we all knew our "timeline".

Anyway, just before new year eve, I was happy that I went to Venetian with my darling. It's like a dream come true for me, I've ALWAYS WANTED to come here!!!

 Yeah well, luxury comes with a price, now we will work our ass off to get the money back again. T_T

Hopefully in 2-3 years time, we will make it to Las Vegas instead.

New Year Resolution, I can't be bothered anymore as I never seems to accomplish my mission.

I hope I can be a happier person. Seriously.

I know it's a week late, but,

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

The year is ending...

As the year is coming to a conclusion, each year, I'll also try to conclude what I've been doing for the entire year...

But What's bothering me Now, It's the negativity at work, the feeling is so strong every single day,  I felt so down, I just wanna quit... 

I felt that I don't belong where I am.....

What should I do?

Work, Eat, Sleep

Nothing much to blog about recently...  Work, Eat and Sleep. That's my daily routine.  Travel? Don't bother...

Common complaints of shitty works & colleagues, I guess we're just money slaves...  Work or Quit,  Can't really change much of that huh?

Thinking about skipping work everyday when I open my eyes, these little thoughts, obviously not motivating and not encouraging...

wtf is work-life balance?  when you spent most of your time at work. that's work-life balance.

Passion? Pui....
Challenge? Pui...
Endurance? Pui...

I am desperate for a better plan....